Porkstravaganza Report

The first (annual, I hope) Porkstravaganza long weekend was a wild success. I’m fairly certain that I win as far as the who-had-the-most-fun contest goes, because let’s face it: I was in my element. 1. I was surrounded by people I love and feel comfy around. 2. There is snow. 3. There was beer. 4. And a sauna and hot tub. 5. Everyone had skis. 6. The poodles were there. 7. There was delicious food. I really cannot imagine what else I’d need.

It was a bit of a rough patch there after school on Friday night, what with the 5 inches of snow to move and the road to hit. We were late. Just ask Leah. We’re talking more than two hours late. Someday things like that will stop happening to me because I will get my life together. Probably not though.

Everyone arrived, even The Beasthound, whom the front desk people referred to as “The Majestic One.” This brought me, Allison, and I am quite sure Joel, great joy. She really is too. Then Allison, Kelly, and Jason all arrived. There were drinks and saunas. There was laughter and big plans for the next day.

We got up for our “hot, AmericInn-style breakfast,” stocked up on lunch snacks to take with us, and prepared to cross country ski our way through the park. Despite 0 degree weather and God only knows what wind chill, these folks were ready for it.

The fresh snow made for a slow ski, but there was much delight and nice stops for warm beverages. We went up and up and up, making it to the warming shelter for a slow warm up. Thanks to Bryan’s mad fire skills, we did eventually get it roaring in there. We shared warm drinks, cookies, and other snacks and then headed out for long descent. Everyone shredded the gnar pretty impressively, even the new skiers, and I hope it was fun!

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Since the candlelit ski was canceled that night, we held our own with sauna antics with the rowdy Dollary Bayans in town, hot tubbing, and then we moved, crock pots and all, to the hotel lobby for a dinner feast. Then we had the audacity to play Guesstures in that lobby, a game which inspires me to raise my voice to epic proportions. Kelly even made it rain and I attempted to guzzle a RumChata pudding shot. I’m sure I am forgetting all sorts of antics and hilarity from that evening.

The next morning we split up, some snowshoeing and some skiing, before we headed out to the downhill slopes. Unfortunately, we hit two, cold runs and Allison took a nasty digger into her binding and had to bow out for the day. At least the ski patrol guy was the the biggest Yooper lumberjack I have even seen. We enjoyed snacks, including some delicious Guinness chocolate cake with salted caramel frosting. Ridiculous.

The rest of the weekend was spent in various states of sleepiness, soreness, hilarity, feasting, and game-playing rowdiness. There were prank calls from the “front desk” and more hot tubbing and sauna-ing.

We got in one more ski the next day, had a farewell basket of cheese curds at the chalet and bid our weekend goodbye on Monday morning. As I said, I am ready to schedule next year’s festivities.

Props for photos below go to Allison Lindberg:

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doing backflips off the loft, or testing out my local hospital

Last Wednesday started with ambition and ended with an ER trip.

It started with the final order of tongue and groove for the a-frame walls coming two days early. I nearly finished the back wall and then turned to our next problem. The heater was pumping all the hot air straight up into the loft instead of into the rest of the cabin.

Heat rises, straight into the loft which is not where we hang out. Bummer.

Heat rises, straight into the loft which is not where we hang out. Bummer.

When I tried to remedy this, I broke the overhead light with my head, raining light shards all over the loft floor. I tried to clean it up with the shopvac only to break a wheel off that. I gave up. When I tried to tackle it again, I forgot the dustbuster down below. I started to descend the ladder to retrieve it and then I wasn’t on the loft anymore. I remember thinking on the way down that this was going to be bad.


Immediately following my fall I said the ladder slipped, but I can’t remember now what happened. Right after the impact I know I believed these things to be true:

I hit my head and neck.             I smashed my thumb.               I did not lose consciousness.

If I stood up I was going to pass out and then I’d be in real trouble.

I knew what had happened was bad and that I was hurt enough to require a hospital visit. I was alone and felt sure I couldn’t get myself there. I’m glad I didn’t try based on the rest of the afternoon!

I sat on the floor exactly as I landed and looked around. The ladder was smashed against the stove and the chair down below. I imagine I hit my head on that. I saw my phone on the table and slid my way over there. I called Bryan, leaving a message I’m glad he didn’t listen to before realizing that I was okay. He would have panicked because I didn’t sound real hot. When he didn’t answer, I did what all good daughters would: I called my mom who lives approximately 16 hours from me. It’s silly, but I’m glad I did because I was really confused, had sparkles in my vision, and wasn’t sure I’d make good decisions. I’m lucky she answered because she called my insurance, helped me figure out if I needed an ambulance, and called our friends who live a few miles away to come to my rescue.

My thumb was already black and blue, my face and my entire right hand was tingly, and I was really scared that I’d pass out before Elsa and Matt could come to get me. It felt like hours before I looked up to see Matt’s face peering through the door. I remember them gingerly helping me to their truck and having to have them repeat any questions twice before I could even try to answer. Sometimes I know I still didn’t answer coherently and it took a lot of effort to make sense of what I was being asked.

I don’t have memories of arriving at the hospital or checking in. I remember the nurse asking Elsa if I’m always like this when I couldn’t answer her questions. Pretty funny. I remember worrying about putting Elsa and Matt out with this fiasco. Typical Virgo, always anxious about pleasing people…

The next thing I remember is Bryan walking in. He says I smiled a big grin and then just started sobbing. Sounds about right.

They did xrays and a cat scan. They likely found a fracture in the tip of my thumb and based on how it looks like a mutant’s thumb, I’d say it’s broken. They figured based on the still-there bump on my head and my utter confusion at the hospital that I got a mild concussion. So basically I did a flop right backwards off the ladder and I’m feeling pretty lucky that I didn’t really mess my back up and end up having another winter like last year!  Whew!


GIGANTIC sweet potato and really special thumb brace.

So, because of that little fiasco, I wasn’t able to work on Thursday or Friday, I have a sweet brace for my thumb and am really appreciating the power of the opposable thumb! I’m also avoiding the loft in the a-frame and have had to put some projects on hold.

In other news though, we FINALLY finished the tongue and groove walls! We even added a shelf around the window for my potted plants! DSC_0013


How tiny house-esque is that little shelf??? :-)