Porkstravaganza Report

The first (annual, I hope) Porkstravaganza long weekend was a wild success. I’m fairly certain that I win as far as the who-had-the-most-fun contest goes, because let’s face it: I was in my element. 1. I was surrounded by people I love and feel comfy around. 2. There is snow. 3. There was beer. 4. And a sauna and hot tub. 5. Everyone had skis. 6. The poodles were there. 7. There was delicious food. I really cannot imagine what else I’d need.

It was a bit of a rough patch there after school on Friday night, what with the 5 inches of snow to move and the road to hit. We were late. Just ask Leah. We’re talking more than two hours late. Someday things like that will stop happening to me because I will get my life together. Probably not though.

Everyone arrived, even The Beasthound, whom the front desk people referred to as “The Majestic One.” This brought me, Allison, and I am quite sure Joel, great joy. She really is too. Then Allison, Kelly, and Jason all arrived. There were drinks and saunas. There was laughter and big plans for the next day.

We got up for our “hot, AmericInn-style breakfast,” stocked up on lunch snacks to take with us, and prepared to cross country ski our way through the park. Despite 0 degree weather and God only knows what wind chill, these folks were ready for it.

The fresh snow made for a slow ski, but there was much delight and nice stops for warm beverages. We went up and up and up, making it to the warming shelter for a slow warm up. Thanks to Bryan’s mad fire skills, we did eventually get it roaring in there. We shared warm drinks, cookies, and other snacks and then headed out for long descent. Everyone shredded the gnar pretty impressively, even the new skiers, and I hope it was fun!

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Since the candlelit ski was canceled that night, we held our own with sauna antics with the rowdy Dollary Bayans in town, hot tubbing, and then we moved, crock pots and all, to the hotel lobby for a dinner feast. Then we had the audacity to play Guesstures in that lobby, a game which inspires me to raise my voice to epic proportions. Kelly even made it rain and I attempted to guzzle a RumChata pudding shot. I’m sure I am forgetting all sorts of antics and hilarity from that evening.

The next morning we split up, some snowshoeing and some skiing, before we headed out to the downhill slopes. Unfortunately, we hit two, cold runs and Allison took a nasty digger into her binding and had to bow out for the day. At least the ski patrol guy was the the biggest Yooper lumberjack I have even seen. We enjoyed snacks, including some delicious Guinness chocolate cake with salted caramel frosting. Ridiculous.

The rest of the weekend was spent in various states of sleepiness, soreness, hilarity, feasting, and game-playing rowdiness. There were prank calls from the “front desk” and more hot tubbing and sauna-ing.

We got in one more ski the next day, had a farewell basket of cheese curds at the chalet and bid our weekend goodbye on Monday morning. As I said, I am ready to schedule next year’s festivities.

Props for photos below go to Allison Lindberg:

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